The Falcon Has Landed

My parents brought home a humble income, which meant that everything we did was on a budget… including Christmas gifts. Each December, my brothers and I were tasked with strategically aligning our holiday… Continue reading

The Preacher’s Wife

When I was in high school, my father was asked to pastor a small mid-western church, so we dutifully packed up our lives and migrated. There were only fifty-some people who attended the… Continue reading

You’re a Horrible, Horrible Person. Merry Christmas.

What it’s like to shop for clothes: It’s such a simple sequence of events… that makes you look like a total asshole when you do it in December.    

Mr. Thisby’s Opus

I grew up in rural Pennsylvania where you were either Christian, Amish, Mennonite or backslidden. My mother loved to tell guests how wonderful our town was because, “grocery stores played Christian music…” …and… Continue reading

The “S” Word

Like all God-fearing families, there were things my parents simply did not discuss. Things like the “S” word. But the world being the secular playground that it is, there’s only so much sheltering… Continue reading

How My Mother Fought, Won, But Ultimately Lost the War Against Hollywood – Part 2

“So that’s it…???” You might ask. “You were given a tv, and your mother just waved a flag of surrender…?” The score was: Mother – 1 Hollywood – 1 The war was NOT… Continue reading

Attached at the Chip

Our dog Chip has to be touching someone. All. The. Time.          

How My Mother Fought, Won, But Ultimately Lost the War Against Hollywood – Part 1

My mother was a devoted patron of religious radio…. which meant… she was constantly reminded of the war Hollywood was waging against the innocent souls of her children. Every movie was a portal… Continue reading